I lost a friend today.
I met Amber just over a year ago when I was assigned to train her at work but our relationship was more than just coworkers. She often called me her sister, though she couldn’t decide who was the older sister: “I feel like you are my big sister because you are teaching me everything but then we start talking and its like you are my little sister!” After we had exhausted all the training she could handle for one night, we would spend the quiet hours of graveyard talking about everything from politics to our love stories.
She had a fierce love for her husband Ryan, somehow being both proud and protective of him at the same time. She had seen him through cancer treatment and he was her everything. And she was crazy about her kids–her horses Attitude, Tucker, Pony and Baron, and her dog Pebbles. They were the lights of her life and the hardest part of getting sick for her was being away from them.
Amber reminded me to live, to laugh and to take life less seriously. I am so honored that she allowed me into her life. I felt like I was just getting to know her when she got sick, like our friendship was cut off by tragedy. I will always remember the day we sat on her porch swing watching the horses graze and she told me, “Laura I am afraid. I don’t want to leave Ryan alone.”
Somehow she knew that I have a hard time talking about my emotions but she could figure me out anyway. If she were here she would ask me about it then make me laugh. “It’s okay–we don’t have to talk about it–I’ll get some chocolate.” Somehow I would know she understood and that would be enough.
Goodbye Amber, my sweet friend and big sister. I will miss you.